I have come to think of him as a chronic malcontent.
This stands in stark contrast to the man he purported to be at the beginning of our relationship almost ten years ago.
It goes without saying, he never mentioned her to me.
He made the argument that I was to blame – that we’d grown apart since having kids, that I wasn’t interested in sex despite the fact that over the years, I had started endless numbers of conversations w him asking why we weren’t being more intimate, how we could change things, etc.
After hemming and hawing about not remembering the password, he finally showed me the site and after much surfing around I found two emails confirming he had been with at least two prostitutes.Dear Jo Ann, I would like to preface this by saying that I have yet to determine whether my husband is a sex addict with a compulsion to consume porn, surf escort sites, and sleep with prostitutes OR an entitled, narcissistic bastard who believes these behaviors are acceptable and deserved (by him) and is just apologizing and trying to make amends simply because he was caught. I have always felt a distance from my husband – a certain disconnection on his part that was exacerbated by his minimal ability to empathize w others and his obsession w himself.For example, he is the kind of man who will steer the conversation to himself, will talk at length about himself (almost like a monologue w little room for others input or a give and take), but will rarely, if ever, ask any questions of anyone else in the room.When conversation turns away from him, he is on his i Phone or will even take out his computer, completely ignoring the social situation around him.Everything is about him – his pain, his frustration, his discomfort.A girl charged in a fatal drunken driving crash also had photos from her My Space page downloaded by prosecutors, who used them in their pre-sentencing report.The pictures, posted after the crash, showed her holding a beer bottle and wearing a “a belt bearing plastic shot glasses.” Her sentence was more than five years.I had become suspicious of him years ago when he received an overly friendly text from a co worker when his phone went off while he was in the shower.He played it off as nothing – they’d had lunch a few times, gone out w others for drinks (outings to which I was never invited, about which I was never told). After we were married and when I was pregnant w our first child, I looked on one of his social sites and found another overly familiar message sent to an old female friend in which he talked about how great it was to chat w her until 3am the night before. When I confronted him, he again said it was innocent and didn’t seem to understand why I was upset but agreed to stop messaging people on this site.We are in marriage counseling and currently living apart. I watch my girls play and feel such a profound loss – of the family I thought we had, as flawed as it may have been.I am sickened by him but at the same time feel this empathy for him – I feel badly that he isn’t seeing the kids as much as before, I feel badly that he seems to be suffering.