And sure enough, infidelity on their part and madness on mine ensued. " Without missing a beat she said, "Brad Pitt." Brad Pitt. Well, who the hell wouldn't want to date Brad Pitt.Like George Costanza, when it came to dating again, I had to think about what I would normally do, then do the exact opposite to find a healthy relationship. I'm going to leave you with that for just a moment. Reality check, he falls for women like Angelina Jolie.
But I have to take a page from the book of my babysitter's 20-year-old daughter, Lilly.
He tries to make your feel crazy and paranoid when you offer your suspicions. When that doesn't work you think God might be an Asshat too. You decide that motherfucker John Gray doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. There's more, but I think these 10 will have to suffice. Do not, under any circumstances, allow your vagina (or penis) to choose a relationship.
He cheats on you in a box, with a fox, wearing socks. When that doesn't work you pray for God to help you to stop loving him. You become a regular at the Bodhi Tree on Melrose Avenue where you buy over-priced Buddhas and nausea-inducing incense. You see a shaman, a psychic, a past-lives medium and a hypnotist. You read and try to wait for your man to come out of his cave and snap back like a rubber band. You feel lonely, desperate, grasping and fated to live your life forever dissatisfied or alone. Here are my five tips for avoiding them entirely: 1.
An exceptionally smooth crumble cake of Virginias and Burleys.
Notes: The personal blend of well-known Danish pipe maker, the late Peter Heeschen.