And if it hasn’t happened to you yet, you can say “What’s wrong with these terrible people on these awful sites?
” Or you can ask, “How can I make this work for me, despite the obvious flaws? But I’ll tell you, all it takes is one person – and you’ll be standing right with me.
I just urge people to find some healthier perspective on the whole thing.
A private client told me just this weekend that she’s quitting online dating after three bad dates in a row.
Here is what I wrote back to her: First of all, I’ve had EVERY bad dating experience you can possibly imagine.
I’ve had women write me nasty emails, insult me over the phone, ignore my phone calls, stand me up, refuse to thank me for dinner, refuse to reciprocate in bed… And yet I still run around as this super dating advocate, because I believe it is the best prospect to find someone special.
Friends of both genders tell that their experiences have been hard in different ways.
Girls are curious why other guys rub our head and backside for luck, and they give us attention unrelated to helicopters.
Go to one of those websites that reviews dating sites and you’ll see the same.
Average review will be 2 out of 5 stars or something like that. Because people who get married from online dating sites rarely get back online to post happy reviews on websites.
And as you get into your mid-30’s, the bar scene is really old and set-ups have become a bit of a joke. But because it creates opportunity where previously there was none. My best friend in New York is marrying a man she met on e Harmony. My sister’s best friend is in love with a man she met on e Harmony. So as I see it, you have two choices: quit online dating and make a supreme effort to go to as many parties, coffee shops and adult education classes as possible OR try to find a way to avoid the worst of the online daters.
While it’s nice to say, “I want to meet someone organically, where our eyes meet, so I can feel chemistry”, that simply doesn’t happen very often. My first love, in 2003, was a Filipino woman that worked in the pharmaceutical industry and lived in a different part of town. I have dozens of clients who are married, engaged and in love with people they met online. So let’s acknowledge the flaws of online dating: the liars, the bores, the flakes, the crazies, the morons, the perverts, the poor spellers, and so on. The third, and most popular choice, is to quit and wait for your soulmate to drop out of the sky, like “The Secret” for love. Your best bet is to keep dusting yourself off, learning from your mistakes, and staying in the game. But sometimes, with enough perseverence (as well as luck, timing, a good profile and a positive attitude), you’ll fall in love.